


Byakuya goes to the store

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Byakuya hates vegetables, Car Accident, Communist Propaganda, Flo milli, Gen, Other, Thrift shop by macklemore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:42:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26789158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Byakuya goes to the store
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Byakuya goes to the store

**Author's Note:**

> He goes to the store

Togami woke up at his usual hour of 5:30 AM. He always woke up this early to be able to experience the soft light and humidity of the morning. The house was dark and he turn on all lights. He go to coffee machine...sadly there was no coffee left..... “hmmmm....” he says... ”there is no coffee left.... i wonder why this is....” He was always very careful to have many extra of the ground crushed coffee beans used for making the delicious caffeinated hot drink enjoyed by many. Obviously 

He went to prepare breakfast and found there was no milk either

”how strange....... i always am sure to keep very much stocked up on edible items; such as packaged foods, beverages, and raw ingredients . I wonder why there is no food here, in my house, at this moment.”

He went to the cupboard..... NO FLOWER LEFT?????? This was getjng out of hand. Suddenly it dawned on him... he ... needed to... GO TO THE STORE

He retrieved his keys from his key hook thing by the door and headed out to his shrimp dick rich guy low rider sports car that cost about five times your car mind you, and he started it up and it made a car sound that was way more fucking cool than your car. Your car is trash and you should end your life if you do not have togami sports sex car .

Anyways so he begins to drive to the store. Byakuya loved the store becuase he can buy things there. He loves things . There all all kinds of things at the store. Big thinfs . Small things. Medium sized things . Electronic things . Food things . Clothes things . Good thing s. Bad things. They had all kinds of things at the store. 

He is driving down the road not even looking at it. Real men dont look at the road if you do you have a tiny penis and you are gay and homosexual and i fucking hate you. Then byakuya looked to the road becuase he is all of those things and he accidentally ran over a small child which was actually makoto naegi the ultimate soyboy. he could hear the muffled scream and feel the bump on his tires as it happened. His car tires trailed trace amounts of blood, and Makoto’s middle was flattened into the road, red and pink and tan squelching across the pavement. His bones shattered almost instantly into many tiny pieces, too coated in muscle and tendons to move much, leaving the sad shape of his mangled body left mostly intact on the ground. His arms jutted out at odd angles and his head was the only part of his dead body left untouched, his esophagus and neck bone sticking out from the bottom of his head. “Oh well!” he said “they were poor person and not a togami and so therefore disgusting.” 

Byakuya clicked the cd button and started playing thrift shop by mackelmore it was so baller and cool. he slid sunglasses onto his face even though it was still kind of dark out.... “DEAL WITH IT.......” he said to himself in the mirror. It was really cringe and unfunny and lame

He arrived at the store and was appalled to find a disgusting group of lower-class scum grouped in the parking lot passing out nonsense flyers about meetings and murmuring about the class struggle and the proletariat and how there needs to be a planned uprising of armed workers backed by Marxist beliefs united throughout the country. 

“You disgust me i am rich” byakuya said before running them all over in his car, not being able to kill them off so easily like with makoto but it gave them the right message.... “DO NOT MESS WITH ME... I AM GOING TO THE STORE.” he yelled this out of his car window passing by the bloody heap of injured people. 

“you shattered my ribs you ultimate failure!” said nagito komaeda who was the ultimate mcdonalds worker. He could feel his lungs rapidly decompressing and filling up with thick fluid... His breathing became slow, uneven, and congested with blood. “ouchie” he thought 

“Well i am the ultimate know it all and i have ran you over in my ultimate car. now drag your ultimate body to the ultimate hospital before i ultimate-ly bash your skull in and let your ultimate brains splatter my ultimate car tires”

”Ok anything for you babe” and so nagito drag himself away to hospital, legs broken beyond usage or recognition, kneecaps dislocated at odd angles.

”Finally some piece and quiet.....” byakuya parked in the middle of the parking lot and walked into the store “FINALLY..... “ he said “I AM AT THE STORE......”

He needed coffee first it was so inporant becuase blakc cofee was the only thing that he could use in conversation to make him seem way cooler and bootlicking than the other person. Then he saw... HER.... his arch rival... his SWORN EMENY....... OWIE ASSAHINA.

”grrrrrrrrr i see you over there togamy” she said holding a gross VEGETABLE in her hands. byakuya hated VEGETABLES.

“hello skanky whore” he said “why do you have a disgusting vegetable in your hands”

”unlike you i am helthy and eat my veggirs when i am told to........ your will be unhealthy if you don’t and die. So thats alrigt with me cause then you will be dead. So dont eat this vegetable.”

”what if i want to eat it you insufferable bitch”

”then eat it and you will be sad cause you hate veggies....”

AH! his evil counterpart had foiled his plans again......... “fuck you assahina”

”Oh yeah you want to?Im open from 2 to 3 if you want to actually i just have lunch plans and then we can.”

”shut ... the fuck up..... zSLUT!!!!!!!!”

owie assahina GASPED.

”HOW INSULTING OF YOU!” she said staring to cry and then stormed off with her disgusitngher vegetable in hand. 

“Fianlyl... I won this battle....” said togami

anyways Byakuya bought his blakc cofe and milk and flower and various items appropriate for consuming due to bodily functions requiring sufficient calories and vitamins to fulfill and keep him alive.

So he walk back out to his car and it’s cool and also did i mention his car is all leather inside yep. Yep. He spend a kajillion extra for that but he could afford it becuase he is a byakuay togami, ultimate rich person. Actually he has no skills other than being rich which truly is the ultimate skill

So he drive back to his huge corporate mcmansion and notice something BAD.... owie assahinasis car in his driveway. “God fuckign damit dave” he thought to hinself

And so he go in owie assahina is waiting there “Hello bayskua my greatest adversary”

”Shut yo uryo moth”

”Make me” And so he did by grabbing a knife and jamming it striaght between her collar bones having to force it through some from cartilages and gross girl body.

“Ewwww” byakuya thought “I am touching a gir that is so gross im gonna get cooties” anyways “I like cash and my hair to my ass do the dahsh can you make it go fast fuck the fame all i want is them bands if she keep on muggign imma stela her man he watching my behavior cause he kneow i’m bad pussy put a spell on him he in a teance” Byakua wihispered into assahinas ear. Then he pushed her dying body out to the porch and over the railing watching it impale onto the metal fence surrounding his really fancy and expensive pool that was olympisc sized. Her insides dripped down the fence post and stained the light concrete below, intestines hanging from the crossbars on the fencing. The life drained from owie assahinas eyes and the color from her face turned a sickly shade of greyish yellow. “Awww she missed :(“ byakuay said and then went to go make some coffee. It was very bitter and dark. “Yummy” he said. Truly this was a very productive trip to the store!


End file.
